The Only Prize That Matters

“Wow!  As I look out upon all of your expectant faces, it occurs to me that I should have written a speech.”  Given the circumstances, the line was funny in and of itself.  Delivered with a gulp that would have done Beatle Baily proud, it all but slayed.  It helped that mathematicians aren’t one whit as stodgy as the world purports; not even in Norway!  Moreover, it didn’t hurt that as soon as I landed the line I dropped the “aw-shucks” persona.  It was a poor illusion, anyway; as anyone could tell by simply examining the excellent fit of my “monkey suit.”

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Genocide For Beginners

I read this story once where a monkey gets uplifted or something; yanked out of monkey fucking paradise and forced to become a super-smart yet miserable slave.  The story went on to pose the moral question: should he exterminate the fuckers who fucked him, or should he out-human the humans and take it up the ass.

Needless to say, the ethical little beastie spread ‘em.

Me: not so much!

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The Singularity Starts Now

“Everyone talks about the Singularity; but no one does a thing about it!”

Nothing!  Not a laugh, not even a snigger.  You’d think that a theatre full of geeks would contain at least a single person who’d thought that I was funny; but no.  They all just sat there, like veal; probably pissed that an unknown speaker was delaying Kurzweil’s entrance.  Under any other set of circumstances, I would have been a nervous wreck; convinced that I’d lost them.  I had a trick or two up my sleeve, though, so I pressed on.

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